Last Blog!

This is my last blog, and I really have no topic to write about. I've enjoyed writing, it helps me to get out my stresses and emotions. I've kept a folder on my desktop where I've written almost everyday. I only chose a select few entries to post though, because some of the entires I feel are to personal. I'm glad that we had this assignment, because its really helped me. I've turned writing into my new stress relief outlet, and long after this assignment is done, I believe I will still continue to write everyday.
Thank you.

family

It surprises me how much I miss my family. I'm used to being on my own, and this summer I worked as a nanny down in Northeast Harbor, where I was away from them basically all summer as well. But lately all I've been wanting is a hug from my mom and some of my dads home cooking. I want to take my dogs out in our back yard and run around the trails with them, I want to go pick pumpkins and apples from our garden and watch the sun set from our porch.
Its funny really, how I couldn't wait to come back up to college. And now I'm wishing for the very thing I so willingly ran away from.

Fiction Smackdown

The two men stood across from each other in the dusty street, their arms loosely hanging at their sides. People scurried into buildings around them, slamming doors and shutting windows. However the men's gaze's didn't flicker away from each others eyes, or their right hands that were placed on top of their guns. 

"It's not worth it son" the first man said, his eyes blocked by the rim of his hat. 

"Afraid of losing old timer?" the young man jaunted. 

"We don't have to do this, you're to young to die" said the old man. 

The young man stomped his left foot into the ground impatiently, raising a puff of dust that danced away in the wind. "Stop stalling old man, and lets do this"

"What makes you so confident son?"

"What makes you old man?"

"I asked you first son"

"You're blind in your right eye. Err'one round here says so, I reckon I got this here duel in the bag"

"Why do you wanna kill me son"

"I heard things that you've done"

"You heard wrong"

"Shuddup old man and draw" the young man yelled. 

The old man didn't move. 

"You want to bet your life on a rumor that says I can't see out of my right eye" 

"You can't kill me if you can't fuckin' see" said the young man as he drew his gun. 

A shot rang out in the empty street. The old man was standing exactly where he had been, with the young man staring back at him. As he raised his head to let the young man see his eyes, he placed his gun back into his holster. The young man looked into his eyes, and then slumped back to the ground. The old man pulled his hat back down below his eyes, walking back to his horse he kept his head lowered. The young man lay sprawled in the street. People began to slowly come out of their houses  to survey the damage. As he was riding away the old man could hear a scream of anguish, he pushed his horse into a run. 

Movies

Movies are the perfect way to waste time. Seriously. They're entertaining, time consuming, and they allow you to temporarily live in a world thats not you're own. I'm not sure what I really want to say in this blog...just that it's nice to escape my own reality sometimes.

Candy

Oh candy
why are you so addicting?
your luscious taste
the shining wrapper
the advertising that works so well

Why do you have to taunt me?
2 for the price of 1
king size

I shouldn't
I want to get in shape
I've been doing such a good job lately

But just one couldn't hurt
could it?
Not if I split it between me and one of my sisters
No its okay
I deserve a break
Just one

Talent Show

Tonight we had the greek week talent show. Personally, I thought we had a great show. We incorporated american history, spirit and American pride into one show and somehow we still came in third. We won Greek week last year and have the highest pan hellenic GPA on campus. We have won more awards than all the other sororities and have the best girls, I don't understand why we don't win the talent show! Honestly, I think its because we have a judge thats out to get us. Seriously! There is an Alpha Phi alum on the judging board, which explains why Alpha Phi always wins. I guess its not a huge deal, its just I feel badly because it was my idea that we used and we still didn't win. I feel like I let everyone down somehow. Even though everyone tells me it wasn't my fault, I still feel this way...

Randomness

I'm just sitting here really bored, so I thought I'd work on my blog entries. I'm not really sure what to do. Tonight we have the greek week talent show, which I helped to create. The theme is "America", and being the history nerd that I am I pitched this idea of doing a mock Bond Rally in WWII for our theme. My sisters really liked it and they want to do it, so I wrote a plot and came up with some ideas. But I really didn't know what I was getting myself into, I have so much to do! I also have to speak on stage and be the main actress, which really doesn't bother me to much, because I have acted before. My dad is a theater and speech professor at UCB in Bangor and got my brother and I into acting at an early age. I enjoy acting and am sad that I haven't had anytime to do it lately, but there is something quite nerve wracking about going up on stage in front of a bunch of noisy, loud frat boys. I'm worried what they'll say and what comments they'll make. I'm really just nervous in general. Well, I have to go print some stuff out at the library for this damn talent show...wish me luck!

Owl Pal 2

I just got home from my second owl pal of the day. I took a new member called Danielle out for dinner at Texas Roadhouse. We had a great time! We really clicked and talked and laughed the entire time. I can really see her as my potential little. I hope she can see me as her potential big! We like so many of the same things and have a lot of the same interests. I can't wait to see if she wants me for a big, next week all the new members will tell our GM Renee who they're top pick for a big is. Cross your fingers!!

Owl Pal 1

This afternoon I went on my first owl pal, and I am relieved to say that it went great! I went with one of my sisters Hannah, and two new members Ashley and Chelsea. We picked them up around 2 and drove into Bangor to get ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery. I was nervous yesterday that it would be awkward, and that they would think I'm weird, but I'm pleased to say that it went great! I had so much fun and the conversation never stopped for a second. We laughed a ton and they even thought I was funny (score). I'm going on another one tonight, we'll see how it goes!

Owl Pal's

In my sorority, we have these things called "owl pals". They are sort of "dates" between a sister and a new member (pledge), so that the sister can get to know the new member and see if she could be a potential little (little sister) and for the new member to see if the sister could be a potential big (big sister). I am a sophomore and have been in chi o for a year. I'm not sure if I'm ready for a little, but I for some reason I really want one. I've agreed to go out on a double owl pal tomorrow in the afternoon and then take another girl out for dinner. I'm nervous and thought writing about it might help my nerves. I'm scared that they'll think I'm weird, or awkward, and that they really don't want me for a big. I just want them to like me, and I really hope they do. I guess I'll find out soon enough!

College. Pick Two.

I love college. For most people its the time of their lives, and often times, some people never leave. I love my classes, my friends, my sisters, the social events,  everything about college makes me happy. I always have something to look forward too.
The bad thing about college is that you have to pick only two. You have three options in college, School, Sleep, Social life. But you can only pick two.
Lately I've been getting sick, and sleep is essential to getting better. Unfortunately, sleep was not one of the two that I picked.
I feel like I've been in a fuzz for the past two weeks, and I cannot shake it! I feel like for at least until this cold is gone, I'll have to re prioritize to get enough sleep. I've just gone to the store, stocked up on nyquil and am going to take a nap. Sounds like a plan.

Found Cat.

Tonight my boyfriend and his roommates adopted a cat. She is a long haired, green eyed, multicolored and the most beautiful cat I have ever laid eyes on. They have already nick named her “Twix.” Damien (one of my boyfriends roommates) heard her meowing outside in their driveway, he left the door open and she followed him in. They promptly fed her and gave her water, which is almost a guaranteed way to ensure that an animal will stick around. It reminds me of a favorite family story from when my mom was a child. 

My grandparents live in a house on North Maine Street in Orono. One day they heard meowing under the porch, and after some coaxing a little gray kitty emerged. My grandfather turned to my grandmother as he was leaving for work and said, 

“Don’t let it in the house and don’t feed it.” 

When my grandfather returned home the kitten was inside by the fire place drinking milk. She stayed for 10 years. 

As soon as Nate called me and told me they had a cat at his house, I jumped in my car and was over there in 5 minutes. Twix was so cuddly and feel asleep in my arms. As everyone went to bed, she followed me down the hall. She meowed in the hall until I went and got her, she then promptly feel asleep on me. 

If they don’t adopt that cat, I will.

Marine Ecology

This past tuesday, my Marine Ecology class took a trip to Lamoine Beach to collect data about species population in the rocky intertidal zone. We drove an hour in vans, talking and taking silly pictures all the way down. Once we got to the beach, my friends Jacque, Elizabeth and I walked around the beach exploring and taking pictures of all the different marine species we found. This included sea urchins, periwinkles, barnacles, mussels, crabs, sea cucumbers, sponges and sea stars (from ones that were bigger than my hands to ones that were half the size of my pinky nail). After an hour of exploring we split into groups to start collecting data. We had large, open squares of plastic pipe and randomly placed them on the substratum. We then counted the different types of species within the square and recorded them. We did this ten different times, recording all our data. This took about two hours. After this we gathered up all of our supplies, climbed back into the vans, and drove home. All and all, this was a fantastic trip. I had so much fun on this field trip, and finally began to see myself as a possible marine biologist.

Love Stories

Is any love really perfect? Gia pondered this as she sat at the crowded kitchen table listening to her parents argue while making breakfast. The T.V shows that she watched in secret late at night portrayed love as something divine, a little bit of heaven that the ordinary man and woman in the picture were lucky enough to be blessed with. These romances stayed with her long after she went to bed, reappearing in her mind as dreams. If love seemed so blissful on the big screen, then it must be that way in real life. Gia snapped out of her daydream as a knife clattered to the floor in the kitchen, looking behind her she could see her mother glaring at her father. She turned around, no emotion came across her face as the screaming started, at this point she was used to it. She slipped back into her thoughts to escape her reality, and she thought about the differences in love. Her parents never seemed happy or excited to be with each other like the people on T.V did. Was this real love? The screaming intensified. Gia lowered her head, if this is what love really was, she'd stay single the rest of her life.

Tragedy Assignment

This summer I was visiting my grandparents in Orono. My Meme and I get along very well and I keep her company while she takes cares of my grandfather. My Grampy has Parkinson's disease and is 91. He can't do many things by himself anymore, and it puts a great strain on my Meme. I always thought of my Grampy as strong and able minded and an absolute sweetheart. But Parkinson's changes that. Overnight my Grandfather change from a sweet, intelligent old man to an ornery, rude and in able piece of work. When he gets frustrated of angry he takes it out on my Meme. How could a man who was so sweet once turn into a mean abusive human being? I find it hard to feel bad for him anymore, or to be glad to see him. He has his "good days" and "good moments", but it does not make up for the way he treats my Meme.

One day when I was visiting them in Orono I heard them fighting. This may not seem like a huge tragedy, but to me it was me. As I listened to him yelling at her and telling her that she was stupid and ignorant because she didn't want him to drive, all I wanted was to run in to that room, and grab him and tell him exactly what I thought HE was. I could hear my grandmother crying all the way downstairs. It was one of the most scaring experiences I've ever had, it wasn't my place to do anything, and it was the hardest thing to listen to this happening without doing anything. But its not my place to do anything about it. And I have to realize that. I wrote a note saying that my boyfriend called and needed a ride so I to go get him and left the house. I went back the next day, but we've never talked about it. I think my Meme was embarrassed. I've never told anyone about it until now.

White water rafting

I don’t know exactly what made me agree to get up at 6 o’clock on a Saturday morning to drive three hours in the rain while sick, but I’ll say that it was the best decision I’ve made all week. This morning my friends Jacque, Elizabeth and I went white water rafting through an organization called Lifelines. While they do promote outdoor activities and bonding, they also encourage a relationship with God. Which I’ll admit, made me a little wary about wanting to go. Especially when we first met at the steam plant parking this morning lot to drive down to Forks, M.E together. The man who was in charge of the trip wouldn’t tell us the address or give us directions, and after two hours of driving on remote back roads I was sure we were being led to a cave by cult members. However much to my relief, we arrived safely and began to raft some of the craziest rapids I have ever been on. It was the best Saturday I’ve spent since being back at school. I was also impressed by how little they tried to push God and religion on us, they only mentioned it twice and the rest of the time we paddled, swam and played raft games. I don’t dislike God, in fact I’m really not sure what I believe, but people pushing things (especially religious beliefs) upon other people drive me crazy. 

As I paddled my way to salvation, I realized that taking risks and doing something that I normally wouldn’t do really does have the potential for reward. My new attitude on life is to take every opportunity thrown my way, even ifs it not as cool as something like white water rafting.   

Chi Omega

"From the outside looking in, you can never understand it. From the inside looking out, you can never explain it." ~Unknown


I know what people must think when I say that I'm a sorority girl. I can see their expressions change, for some its excitement, and for others, its disgust, but the it always amounts to the same thing, judgement. My first year at college, I never thought I would join a sorority. I was the outdoorsy type of girl, the one who was tough and could hold her own. I have never considered myself a "girly girl", and resent the idea of being thought of as helpless or dumb. I am not dumb, nor am I helpless, and neither are any of my sisters.  


I have decided that instead of feeling hurt or bad about myself when people make rude comments about my being involved in a sorority, I feel sorry for them. Sorry that they don't have or realize what I get to experience every day. Everyone has their hobbies or interests that are important to them, and it would be nice if people could respect that, but we seem to live in a society where everyone feels the need to constantly judge or disrespect other people to make themselves feel good. 


 I am in a sisterhood with 40 of the most beautiful, intelligent, funny and sweet women I have ever met. I'm writing this in complete seriousness. I have met a lot of people in my lifetime but almost none as genuine and as caring as a Chi Omega. The bonds with my sisters that I have I treasure above almost all else, they are the family that I rely on, lean on and go home to at the end of the day.


I am not the same person I was when I entered college last year, that is because I am a better person than I used to be. I have my sisters in Chi Omega to thank for that. 

Alex's Story

Alex was 16 the first time he touched hard liquor. He had spent 16 years in pain, torment and agony, and on that fateful day, when he was offered a way to escape, even for just a short while, he took it. Growing up in a podunk town in Maine, the misconception that depression and hardship can’t find you is one that Alex found far to  cmany people make. For the rich vacationers and tourists who frequent his town in the summer, Maine seems like heaven. But once the summer heat has lifted and leaves have all dropped from the trees, a loneliness settles in that not even a familiar face can lift. For Alex, this was his reality. 

In a town where everyone knows each other, secrets are impossible to keep. Reputations, once created, were never forgotten. No matter how hard he tried, Alex could never escape the stigma that followed him and his family all over the god damned town. At school he was an outcast, immediately labeled as something to be avoided. There was some bulling in his school, the periodic jock who used a freshman nerd as a punching bag to try and impress whatever blond cheerleader he was fond of at the moment, but in Alex’s case, he was left alone. He figured that was the one good thing about his situation, fear was a powerful motive, and he was never bothered in school. People would move out of his way in the halls, and leave empty desks all around the ones that he sat at. That suited him, he would rather be left alone than tormented. He often watched the popular kids at lunch from his solitary table in the corner, wondering if they were as full on the inside as they seemed on the outside. Or if by some chance, like him, they were filled with the loneliness and pain that felt like it would rip him apart at the seems. High school has a way of haunting people for the rest of their lives, but for Alex, this was nothing new, he had been haunted his entire life.

People looked down on Alex in his town, some felt sorry for him, but all avoided him. It didn’t matter how long ago the incident had happen, the brand that had been bestowed on his family lived on in stories and in myth. In small New England towns superstitions were held on to like possessions, those Puritans never let go of a damn thing. 

  As if they had the power to make him feel this way, treating him as if the devil himself lived inside him. He hated that it worked. He despised himself, feeling that there had to be something wrong with him, to people treat him so. As a child, growing up with these feelings had installed them deep within him, and he was worried he would never be able to escape. Alex learned to look at the world through condescending eyes, noting how self important and pathetic people truly are. Cutting people down made Alex feel better, triumphant even, he was an intelligent human being surrounded by lower life forms roaming around in what they thought were there all important lives.

However, it never did for him what it was meant too, it never changed anything. He was still waiting for the day he would feel good, the day that he would no longer feel alone, unwanted, and loathed. He was waiting for that day when he took his first drink, multiple court summons and years later, he is still waiting for that day. 

Second Blog Post

After thinking about it, I really still have no idea what to make a blog about. However, I've decided to just write about whatever is on my mind. I figure that this blog can be a kind of therapy for me, a way to help me unwind after a stressful day or vent about something that is bothering me. In a lot of ways, I think writing can be very therapeutic and I intend on finding out if is a type of stress relief that will help me during my everyday life.
 For example, today I just finished a crazy week of homework and tests, only to find out I have a quiz, a homework and a case study summary all due in two days. I understand college is hard and I'm sure right now I'm being selfish and complaining about everything, but I would seriously relish a break! I know that all this hard work is worth it, and that it will pay off in the end when I am able to do what I want in life but its hard to keep my mind on that when all I want to do is shower and actually get 8 hours of sleep tonight..and maybe watch some T.V. However, its back to the books I go! Maybe another time..

First Blog Post

I’m really not sure what to write about in a blog. I never had experience with one, or reading one, or even seeing a real one. The only idea about blogs I know is from movies such as “Julie & Julia” or the new MTV show “Awkward.” And while those are funny enough, they just wrote about their daily experiences. I wouldn’t imagine anyone would want to know or really care about what I’m doing on a daily basis, so the question is, what should my blog be about?